I like to be cool, especially here in Central California where the temperature has been over 100 hundred degrees five out of the last seven days, and I also like to be “cool,” meaning awesome and with it. I’m “down with” (okay with, understand) modern-day slang such as “dis,” (disrespect) “phat,” (pretty hot and tempting or rich and abundant) “da bomb,” (excellent or best) and “wack,” (antithesis of da bomb i.e. weak and uncool). I’ve even used the term “dude” when talking to another woman. And I’m learning to accept the liberal use of the word “guys” for both men and women because recently I watched a DVD on Woodstock and realize it’s akin to using “man.” But it’s my forty-something awareness and sensitivity that prevents me from liking some of the new terminology specifically one phrase that makes me “hot” (angry).
In the past week I called two different stores with questions about their service and products. The two young women I talked with ended our call with, “No problem,” after I politely said, “Thank you.” Someone even sent me an e-mail that ended with the same words. In all these exchanges, after hearing “no problem,” I immediately thought that what I had asked them for, and what they had helped me with, was indeed a problem, as if they’d gone out of their way to accommodate me.
The word “problem,” is a negative word that conjures images of mishaps, disappointments and failures. My on-line dictionary defines it as a matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful and needing to be dealt with or overcome. “No,” is also a negative word. As children we learn to view it as a powerful indication of disapproval. I associate it with a red circle with a line through it.
Wanting to give my best to the people in my life, as well as to be my best, I try to eliminate negativity. As a matter of fact, knowing words carry immense influence over not only how we feel but also how we act, I’ve learned to say to my husband, “remember to ….,” instead of using the all too common phrase, “don’t forget to ….,” which usually ensures he’ll forget. The brain only hears “forget,” and more often than not will do just that. Our minds succumb to suggestions. If we tell someone not to think about something, they’ll immediately think about it.
“You’re welcome,” is a positive acknowledgment when someone says, “Thank you.” It indicates that you indeed found it a pleasure to communicate with them and that your interaction was mutually agreeable.
Striving to use language that positively uplifts, empowers and enhances me, I choose to hear “No problem,” for what it may or may not be; a modern-day equivalent to “You’re welcome.” I do have the choice to determine how other’s language as well as my own affects me, but I don’t have to perpetuate or enable it. Maybe the next time someone says, “No problem,” I’ll rattle off, “Yo baby, I’m hip to that jive, you know, but your wack slang, you know, is messin’ with my soul’s inner harmony, you dig?” and stick around long enough to see what they say. They’ll probably think I’m odd or outdated, but they’re welcome to my opinion—to me it sounds “cool.”

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October 7, 2009 at 12:43 am
Lynn Boland
Susan,
I still can’t get over the use of “guys” for women! It feels as if it often comes from young women who don’t want to distinguish themselves or others sexually, because they are not comfortable in their skin yet, and from actual “guys” who are threatened by the sexual difference that “woman” represents.
October 7, 2009 at 4:31 pm
selfappealsusan
Yes. “Guys” is a word that has also rankled me, but I find myself using it as well, out of habit and hearing it so much. I haven’t given it much thought as to why people use it, but I am aware that our culture exalts male-reference verbage. I’ve leanred to let go of my irritation, for my own piece of mind, though I am always aware of hearing it. My idea is to correct myself when I let it slip, and perhaps that will catch on.